I’m sorry I’ve neglected you. I’m sorry I’ve stopped talking to you for no apparent reason. I’m sorry I’ve pulled the blogging equivalent of the “Not tonight honey, I have a headache” excuse everyday for the last month.
If you are expecting a thrilling and enthralling explanation, now would be the time to lower your expectations. Have I been busy? Yeah. Have I been lazy? Hell yeah. Have I been acting like a total twit in public as per usual? Tick. Do I have some interesting stories to share? Yep. Can they be shared on a blog my parents know about? Cue frantic head shaking and boggle eyes.
In case you are socially awkward and incapable of interpreting body language accurately, that last one’s a no.
The workload is increasing as performance projects multiply, academic subjects come to the pointy end and the institutional machine starts cranking the pace in the inexorable drive towards the dreaded exams. To be honest, I don’t think I’ve ever felt so busy. Yet I still manage to fritter my time away, and I have taken procrastinating to a whole new level. I resent cooking at the moment, as it is time that I could otherwise spend either being productive or thinking about being productive, or stressing about not being productive while I watch Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace.*
*B’s Helpful Tip: If you ever lie awake at night worried that you’re a bit too weird, and your sense of humour is a little too far left-field, watch this series. You’ll be reassured of your normality in no time, and if you’re actually a total kookball, you’ll have finally found a TV show that makes sense.
Anyway, the point is that I feel like I’m a juggler trying to keep twelve balls in the air, only I have no hands and my face is on fire. So seeing as I have so much other stuff to be getting on with (like re-reading Game of Thrones , re-watching Game of Thrones and generally not doing my homework) I’m going to list ten things I have and have not done since I last blogged.
Look how cleverly I linked the title into my post.
I have sung as a replacement soloist in a concert with less than five hours notice.
I have danced salsa with middle-aged men who did not speak a word of English.
I have accidently exploded my oven.
I have set my alarm early in the morning to go to the gym.
I have grumbled about the weather every time it rains.
I have had a group of friends surprise me at my house with cake and wine at midnight on my birthday.
I have started working as a babysitter.
I have dreamed about dragons multiple times.
I have bought tickets to Portugal for part of the summer holidays.
I have spent an entire evening playing the werewolf game.
I have not managed to sing all the notes in the coloratura aria.
I have not learnt any new words in Dutch.
I have not bought a replacement oven.
I have not actually gotten up and gone to the gym.
I have not gone outdoors and taken advantage of the many days of sunlight.
I have not even written on the Facebook walls of many friends who have had birthdays (sorry).
I have not managed to behave like a responsible adult in public on a consistent basis.
I have no idea what the dragon represents.
I have not learnt repertoire that was on my list to learn before January.
I have not actually told any Australian friends about the brilliance that is the werewolf game.
So there you have it. Exploding ovens, werewolves, dragons, cake and a soprano. Feel free to cry about your sad, inferior life any time now.